no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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