No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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