Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
