i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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