is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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