rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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