His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
