I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
