it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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