We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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