You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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