he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
