i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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