small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
