Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
