You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
