he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
