coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
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I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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