There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The adults are the big ones right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
