You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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