I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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