my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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