The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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