I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
