My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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