Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
