I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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