I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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