Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
