what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
