Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
