That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
