i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
