ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
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