Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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