i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
