Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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