I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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