I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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