Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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