I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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