im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
