another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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