I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
