So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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