He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need water and some morals
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
