Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
