Michael Bay diarrhea
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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