i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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