mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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