so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I see more hoeing in ur future
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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