tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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