We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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