How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
