Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
