I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
