margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
