in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
