have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
