Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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