I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
